Welcome to Messy Mondays with Brandon Kyle Goodman! A weekly blog for people ready to live boldly, explore their truth, and heal the parts of themselves shame tried to erase. Messy is another word for Human. And Messy Mondays is a compassionate space to be curious about our humanity! Especially as it relates to identity, sex, and relationships!
Weekly offerings include livestreams, essays, The Messy Mom Pod, and group chats rooted in disruptive curiosity!
What is disruptive curiosity:
I define it as intentionally asking questions to interrupt the personal habits, generational cycles, and internal narratives preventing us from living liberated lives!
More about BKG aka Messy Mom!
I’m a writer, performer, and host. I’ve written and voiced on Netflix’s Big Mouth and Human Resources. I’ve also been featured in The New York Times, W Magazine, Interview Mag, Gay Times, Backstage, The Hollywood Reporter, and more. I’ve spoken at companies like Apple, Google, Viacom, and even Taco Bell! Yes honey, I get around! I also wrote a book called, “You Gotta Be You!” and got to talk to Kelly Clarkson about it. (Swoon!) Most importantly, I’m a Real Housewives fanatic, and though I could talk about that at nauseam, I know that’s not why you’re here (most of you, at least). Honey, you’re here for Messy Mondays!
Messy Mondays Origin Story!
In 2020, I found myself on social media and in the press educating and sharing about my experiences as a Black queer person in America. By the end of the year, I was depleted, and missing joy. Missed telling dick jokes. I am a comedian after all. So in a desperate attempt to lift my spirits, I got on my Instagram story, looked into the camera, and said, “Tell me something good or messy!” I don’t know what I expected, but what I got were some horny ass submissions! Okay?! Baby, the people were famished to talk about sex! And I was so happy to provide a shame-free space to do so! Every Monday, for almost four years, I’ve reacted to, discussed, and given advice about all things sex, love, and heaux*. Including a blow-job technique that found it’s way to urban dictionary (thanks to y’all!) All of which earned me a title I’m most proud of, Messy Mother!
But what started out as a safe space to talk about sex, has evolved into something more. It’s no longer just for the messy things we don’t talk about. Messy means human. And in this space I’m giving us permission to be human-Flawed. Imperfect. Evolving. We get to be disruptively curious about our humanity and in the process learn how to live a liberated life!
How does this work?
Mondays are for Messy Patrons! For free, you’ll get access to “Messy Mondays at Night—my weekly live show where I kiki with guests about hot topics and cultural issues. (9pm EST/6pm PST)
When you sign up for a paid subscription, you become a Messy Patron Heaux! As a paid subscriber, every Friday you’ll get more mess including my Substack exclusive pod “The Messy Mom Pod”, where I tell messy stories, or answer your messy questions, or give you BTS tea on what’s happening in my messy world! You’ll also receive monthly essays known as my heaux journal, the ability to post comments, and access to our group chat! There will also be dog pics and gym pics too!
I meaaaaan, that face!!
Why Subscribe?
Firstly, I’m an expert at living an authentic and liberated life. I practice what I preach. I don’t claim to know it all, but I know a lot, and I’m not afraid to say what I don’t know. I’m inherently curious and will always seek out answers, resources, and share my findings with you so that you can create your own blueprint towards liberation. This space is literally a rejection of perfectionism—as a recovering perfectionist, someone who always wants to get it right, I know what it takes to drop the shackles and just be yourself. And I’m qualified to teach you how to do the same. You’ll feel less alone, and the way you see yourself, the people around you, and our world will expand in ways that will service your happiness. And your happiness is invaluable. Also, I love to laugh, so all of this content includes humor and heart!
Subscribing is also a great way to support me as an artist. Often times discussions about relationships and especially sex get minimized or erased because it’s deemed uncouth or taboo. On other platforms, I’ve experienced being sequestered because of my openness and willingness to share. Your subscription ensures that doesn’t happen! A paid subscription allows me to dedicate more time to creating the work and art that champions underrepresented voices and perspectives. I want to be part of the collective of artists and creators who are making work that empower us to share our stories openly so that we might be rid of the shame we carry. So that we might be a little more free.
If you want in on the paid goodies, but can’t afford it right now, I get it baby! Hit me up, and I’ll gift you a few months free! I believe a space like ours should be accessible to everyone!
Baby, whether a paid or free subscriber, I’m so happy you’re here being a patron of the mess!
What’s a “heaux”?
Fabulous question! “Heaux” is just a different spelling of “ho”. But really it’s a reclamation. I define heaux as someone who commits to the liberation of themselves and others by thoughtfully interrogating their relationship to sex using curiosity, communication, and compassion.
I ate that definition up, didn’t I?!
Mmmhmm! Well, now I’m taking my heaux show on the road! And by “the road” I just mean, here to Substack. This is where we can continue the conversations started on Instagram and the podcast. I’ll share my personal stories, tips and tricks, answer messy submissions more in-depth, recommend the things I’m watching, reading, or listening to, and whatever else is on my mind….like butt plugs with a flared base. (Thank me later!)
Be part of the HEAUXmmunity! (see what I did there?)
If there’s something you want more of, please tell me! Participate in the comments section and discussion threads. This is very much a space I’m excited to build with you! And if you like it here, invite a friend to join our HEAUXmmunity.
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This is a non-judgmental, shame free, and compassionate space. All are welcomed. I hope this little corner of the internet makes you feel seen and loved, because you are. I love you
xoxo
BKG aka Messy Mom.
(photo credit: Drew Blackwell)
