Messy Mondays is written by Brandon Kyle Goodman, a writer, performer, screenwriter, speaker, and podcast host, based in Los Angeles.
I’ve written and voiced on the Netflix series Big Mouth (that’s right, I’m Walter the Love Bug!), had my first book You Gotta Be You published, spoken at fancy places like Apple and Google, and been featured in a number of big name publications, that would make any grandmother beam with pride! Now, I’m here, on substack continuing the conversations started on my Instagram and upcoming podcast.
If you’re familiar with me, then you know my intention is to destroy shame around sex, advocate for well-being, and normalize curiosity, communication, and compassion! I believe the best way to do that is to openly talk about sex. The good, the funny, and the kinky as fuck! We also need a space that will allow us to have those conversations without worrying about an algorithm or shadowbans. *ahem*! I believe Substack is that place!
These weekly offerings are about all things sex + self, with personal essays, Q&As, interviews, recommendations, and c’heauxmmunity chats. It will also act as a scratch pad to figure out my next book idea, “the heaux journal”!
I’m excited to share everything I’ve learned about sex + self, and look forward to discovering the rest, together!
Note: If you’re new to Messy Mondays, then know that I consider myself a “Curator of mess” which makes you a Messy Patron!
How does this mess work?
So glad you asked babe! With a free subscription you’ll get access to Monday Mess. That means every Monday you’ll receive a blog post or essay from me inspired by conversations with friends, Instagram submission and DMs from other Messy Patrons, as well as whatever we’re discussing here on Substack in our chats and comments.
If you become a paid subscriber you’ll get even more mess on THOT* Thursdays like…
Ask Messy Mom
Monthly, I’ll do advice posts answering questions I couldn’t get to on Instagram that require a little more explanation than a one minute Instagram story allows. Feel free to leave questions for me in the comments, group chats, or email TellMeSomethingMessy@gmail.com
the heaux journal
I’m working on drafting my second book, the heaux journal. I define Heaux, as someone who commits to the sexual liberation of themselves and others by thoughtfully interrogating their relationship to sex using curiosity, communication and compassion. But you can’t talk about sex without talking about self; self-worth, self-love, self-identity. So monthly I’ll share drafts of chapters, musings, or ideas reflecting on sex + self in hopes that it’ll make you feel seen and less alone on your own journey.
c’HEAUXmmunity chats
Monthly, there will also be live group chats, about different sex or relationship topics voted on by the subscribers! You’ll also be able to comment on all posts and connect with other Messy Patrons.
Other things for paid subscribers:
I’ll make lists of things I recommend; whether it’s something I’m reading, watching, listening to, or using. I’ll also highlight businesses or charitable organizations that are BIPOC, Women, and/or Queer owned. Of course we love music for our heauxtivities, so I’ll curate Spotify playlists based off of your submissions and my own faves.
If you want in on the paid goodies, but can’t afford it right now, I get it baby! Hit me up, and I’ll gift you a few months free! I believe a space like ours should be accessible to everyone!
Common Heauxcabulary and Puns:
HEAUX: someone who commits to the sexual liberation of themselves and others by thoughtfully interrogating their relationship to sex using curiosity, communication, and compassion.
*THOT: That Heaux Over There
MESSY PATRON: Baby, that’s you and the other members of this messy c’HEAUXmmunity!
SEAGULL: One who fucks chaotically and without rhythm, like a seagull piking at bread crumbs on a boardwalk.
SALMON: One whose kisses sloppily swallowing your mouth like a salmon swallowing water.
POWER DRILL: One who fingers with rough and speedy intensity as though your hole/pussy/bussy/xussy were a wall they desperately wanted to mount a light fixture on.
Heauxfessor
Heauxciology
C.E.Heaux
Heauxlive Garden
Trader Heauxz
Heauxllellujah!
Q’HEAUXTES
Communication is my kink!
Ask About the Politics of that dick before you make it spit!
When eating ass: If there’s shit you get to quit!
Oh baby, we bout to have us a good time! See you out there!